Revenge of the Tomboy Princess
by LEONheart Kennedy
Summary: So very, VERY wrong. Based on the doujinshi, 'The Tomboy Princess,' Bart trys to learn how to live as a girl after living like a boy for so long. RUN, FEI, RUN!!!!!
1. Chapter One: Bart-Bitch on the loose!!!

REVENGE OF THE TOMBOY PRINCESS!  
By LEONheart Kennedy

_Do I have to explain this!?! *whine* I do? Okay, just wanted to be sure. This is *losely* based on the **very wierd** doujinshi called 'Tomboy Princess' where it turns out that our hansome young prince turns out to be a PRINCESS! (I'm not BSing!) I say this is losely baised because I can't understand a lick of Japanese at the moment and the way I figure it, Bart tries his (Her?) damnest to seduce Fei and Sigurd. (She tries to seduce Fei twice.) If you want to see this, check out Mog's site at Virtual City at Aestheticism. (Do you give credit if you don't use the scans themselves but write a story baised on the scans? I don't know, but anyho, visit her site!) Now, on to the story._

WARNING: IT'S VERY EVIL!!

-------------------------------------

Scene: She-Bart is absolutly bored. :P

Bart: I'm so damn bored! For some fucking reason, none of the guys wanna hang out with me anymore! Is it because I'm a girl now? *Sees Fei walking torward her* Hey Fei, ya wanna spar?

Fei: *Looks at Bart's chest* N-no, that's okay.

Bart: WHY!?! Why can't we have fun anymore?

Fei: We can have fun, just not anything that involves *contact* of any sort.

Bart: *Fumming* What's THAT supposed to mean!?!

Fei: .........

Bart: Hey, just because I'm a girl now doesn't mean I'm not the same old Bart!

Fei: I know that Bart but.......um........

Bart: WE'RE SPARING THAT THAT'S THE END OF IT! *Draggs Fei to the gym*

~The Gym~

Bart: Alright Fei! *Cracks her whip* Let's get down to it!

Fei: *Starts to panic because seeing a woman in tight clothes and big breasts with two whips looks very threatening and exotic at the same time* I don't wanna!

Bart: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANNA! *Fei panics and legs it out of there.* GET BACK HERE FEI!! *Draws her whip back and launches it. It whirls around Fei's arms and torso and locks. With a evil smile, Bart snaps it back, causing Fei to fly torward her only to crash into her body. Fei now finds himself on top of Bart with his face inbetween her breasts.

Fei: *blush* Waiiiiiii!! *Trys to get up but Bart holds onto him.* Bart, let me go, PLEASE let me go!

Bart: *smiles* Why? Don't you think this is nice. Huh, Fei? *pouts* Why don't we jussstttt.....*places Fei's hand where it shouldn't be if you catch my drift*...have some fun...........

Fei: *Screams like a girl, tears himself from Bart's embrace, and runs* SIGURD! Help meeeeeeee!!! *Bart's following close behind, but out of no where Sigurd appears and catches Bart in mid-run.*

Sigurd: Young Master..I mean, Mistress, what have I told you about doing *that* to Fei?

Bart: Not to do it, but we weren't!

Sigurd: Then what where you doing?

Bart: *Innocent smile* Sparing.

Sigurd: Well, if you want to spar, I'll be your partner. *Bart starts to cry* Whats wrong?

Bart: Nobody likes me anymore, now that I'm a girl!

Sigurd: That's not true!

Bart: YES IT IS! Fei doesn't wanna hang around me anymore, Billy says being around me is a sin, Rico is interested in me now but that's scarry, I HATE THIS! I WISH I WAS DEAD!

Sigurd: Don't say that! You're right, things shouldn't change just becuase you have, but thats just the way thing are! Maybe you should just hand around the girls a bit more. *Bart stops crying*

Bart: OR MAKE FEI MY BOYFRIEND!?!

Sigurd: .........what?.........

Bart: Yeah! That's the ticket!! YES!!! FEI WILL BE MINE!!

Sigurd: That's not what I ment............

Bart: Oh big brother, you come up with the best ideas, as usual! *Hugs Sigurd and Leaves.*

Sigurd:........BART, GET BACK HERE NOW!!

~Some time later~

Fei: *Peeks around the corder to make sure the Bart-Bitch isn't anywhere.....coast is clear!* Whew! I think I lost her!

Bart: HEY FEI!!!!!

Fei: Aiiiiiii!!! *Falls flat on his face, because Bart had snuck up behind him and screamed REALLY loud!

Bart: *Bats her eyes* Who are you running from?

Fei: Well, I...um..... *Sweat* I was running from Elly, you know...*Wispers* that time of the month.

Bart: Oh? That's odd... because Ellys time usually comes a week after mine and I'm not due for two weeks.

Fei: ..........That was TOO MUCH INFORMATION BART! Geez.........

Bart: What? Oh, sorry!

Fei: *Sighs, picks himself up and dusts off his pants.* Did you want something Bart?

Bart: *Smiles sweetly* I've just decided..........that YOU'RE GONNA BE MY BOYFRIEND!!! *Grabs Fei by the collor and drags him to the nearest resterant.* And since we're going out, we have to go on dates! Common!!!

Fei: HEY, WAIT! DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS? BART? BART! BART!?! BBBBAAAAARRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

_*Will Fei survive Bart's advances? What will Rico do when he find out whats happening? Will Sigurd be able to save Bart's virginity? Does anybody really give a damn? Find out next time on Revenge of the Tomboy Princess!!! Comming soon!!*_

Fei: BART! FOR GOD'S SAKES LISTEN TO ME!!!! BART!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter Two: Bart, I need that!

REVENGE OF THE TOMBOY PRINCESS!  
By LEONheart Kennedy

Chapter Two  
OR.......  
"Bart, I REALLY need that!"

*------------------------*

Bart is still dragging Fei around the Yggdrasil by the collor of his shirt, heading forward the hanger, varous crew members point and laugh at the bawling Fei.

Fei: Bart, please, let me go! Wah! What if Elly see's us?

Bart: Oh, shut up, quit bitchin', and be a man. We're going to Aveh and we're going to go on a date if you like it or not.

Fei: Well, *sweat* if we're going on a date, don't we need to dress up? *Bart stops.*

Bart: Hey, you're right! I need to put something on! *Jerks Fei forward so that their noses almost touch.* And just to make sure you don't escape, we'll have to change in my room.

Fei: Your room........you don't mean...........*Bart Smiles* I'M NOT GETTING UNDRESSED IN FRONT OF YOU!

Bart: Oh, really. *Cracks her whip.*

Fei: Well, ah.............

Bart: That's what I thought!!! *Drags Fei to her room, opens the door and.....* AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Fei: What? What's wroooooooAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*-------------------------------------*

Sigurd is now waiting by the hanger, hoping to stop Bart before she kidnaps Fei.

Sigurd: When and where did I go wrong? I mean, how wrong is it to keep a persons real gender a secret from them if it's for the good of the country? Not that wrong...well then again.......*He's soon cut off as the door to hanger is opened and in runs Fei with Bart cradled in his arms, rushing torward Xenogears. Both of them screaming bloodly murder.* Bart, Fei? *Starts running* What's wrong? *Sig notices that Bart is openly crying her eyes out.*

Fei: Can't stop and talk now Sigurd, we have to go. NOW!!!!!!!!! *Fei rushes to Xenogears' cockpit, sets Bart into it, sits down himself, and hauls ass out of the ship by crashing through the ceiling.*

Sigurd: What the hell was that about?? *The hanger door opens once more and here rushes in Rico wearing nothing but a leather thong with buckles and holding a bunch of flowers.

Rico: You better not come back Fei or I'll preform a Lorana Bobitt on your sorry, fucking, slut ass, for taking away my BARTY! *See's Sigurd looking at him in shock* What are **YOU** staring at?

*----------------------*

Both Bart and Fei are now 1,000 feet above the Yggdrasil in Xenogears, Bart rocking back and forth with her knees drawn up to her chest while Fei trys to see strait.

Bart: Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, happy place, happy place, dark chocholate, Squaresoft games, silk dress, Star Ocean EX, daddy, yaoi doujinshi, happy thoughts......

Fei: It's okay Bart, we're away from him. Far, far away........

Bart: Oh, Fei, my hero. *Grabs Fei's face and pull him into a deep kiss*

Fei: MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmpppppphhhhhhhhhh!! *Pulls Bart way* Bart, can I please land the gear before you start that again?

Bart: Hell, no, I'm HORNEY NOW! *Yanks Fei's seat back and strattles Fei's hips.*

Fei: Bart, I need to pilot the gear! *Bart growls and hits the 'autopilot' button.*

Bart: There, now shut the fuck up and FUCK ME!! *Reaches down and rips Fei's crappy green pants off*

Fei: HEY, watch out, I need that...err....equiptment down there.

Bart: Well so do I..........

Fei: Wait, Bart...we shouldn't...... BART!!!!!!!!!!

*-------------------------------------*

Sigurd: I can't believe you did that Rico? Have you no shame?

Rico: Hey, don't look at me, Elly told me to be direct.

Elly: That's not what I ment! Durring what part of the conversation did I say 'Sneak into Bart's room and stay there in nothing but a dishcloth worth of leather and a smile?'

Sigurd: Well, no we have to find Bart and Fei before something bad happens.

Elly: Like what? *All of a sudden, the walkie-talkie used to communicate with Xenogears springs to life. I don't know if there is such a thing, but hell, it's my story and it's there!*

Sigurd: *Picks it up* Bart? Fei? Do you read? *Nothing but static, until the moans and pants of Bart and Fei fill the room.

Fei: Yes, YES! Who's my dirty girl who likes it from behind?

Bart: YES! OH, god! Harder Fei! HARDER! YES!!!

Sigurd: Oh.....my........GOD!!!!!

Rico:..........I'LL KILL HIM.

Bart: Huff..........huff....yes......oh.......oh.....ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

*---------------------------------*

Bart: *Takes her thumb off the 'call' button on the walkie-talkie* You're right Fei, this is fucking hillarious.

Fei: *Snickers* Give me it! Gimmie!!!! *Thumbs the call button* Oh, Bart! You're such a dirty little girl, aren't you? So dirty...........! Scream my name, baby, SCREAM IT! *Bart snatches the talkie*

Bart: Fei!!! FEI!!! Punish me, I've been so very bad! *Takes her thumb off the call button* Hahahahahahahahh!!! Your turn, your turn!*

Fei: *Thumbs the button* Alright, my dirty little butt pirate, how do you like this. *starts to grunt* You like that Bart, huh, you like that? I bet a dirty little pirate like you would love it if I just fucked you all day huh, you little slut.

Bart: ........... Fei, that was a bit too harsh............

Fei: Yeah, you're right, sorry............ *thumbs the button* ...... You've been such a good little girl, how about I lick you right there.....huh..........

Bart: *joining Fei in the gag* Ohhhhhhhhhh, ffffffeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiii, ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh............don't stop, don't.......feels soooooooo gooooooddddddd.........

*---------------------------------*

Sigurd: Forget you killing Fei, I'M GONNA DO IT! *Everyone stars at Sigurd.* Nobody fucks my little sister in the ass and then calls her a slut, nobody!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!

Rico: Hell no, I called it. I get to kill him!!!!

Elly: No, I'm gonna kill him!

Sigurd: Well, how do we decide who gets to kill him.

Elly: *Holds up a deak of cards.* Poke'mon anyone?

*---------------------------------*

Bart: Okay, that's enough. *hangs up the walkie talkie.* That was fun though.

Fei: yeah, we should do it more often.

*silence*

Bart: Not bad for our first date.

Fei: ......yeah........

Bart: ...............

Fei: Bart......... * Bart faces Fei, who captures her lips in a deep kiss. Moments pass before fei lays Bart down in the chair and gos about removing her clothes.

*------------------------------------*

_Who will kill Fei? Who is the ultimate Poke'mon Xenogears master? When will Fei realise he doesn't have a condom? Will Rico ever have Bart as his own? What's up Elly's ass? What will Fei and Bart do for a second date? Find out next time on 'Revenge of the Tomboy Princess!'_

Elly: I choose you, Weezing!


	3. Chapter Three: Billy Goes to Hell

REVENGE OF THE TOMBOY PRINCESS!  
By LEONheart Kennedy

Chapter Three

Or

Billy goes to Hell!

*----------*

_This chapter is like 'The Adventures of the Mini-Goddess' where it's a bunch of little stories other than a huge chapter. I also decided to pick on Billy a bit since he avoided my wrath tus far! But not any more Billy-Boy! Tee-Hee! And because of one person's request, this will not be-or ever be, a Lemon._

Unless, of course, I get a bunch of responces asking me to! Warning though, I suck at Lemons! Both of my Yaoi stories sucked ass first chapter! I'm getting better though! Unfortunatly I only do Star Ocean Yaoi! Sorry Xeno-Fans! I'm also pissed off at the guy at Software Etc! If he doesn't stop making fun of me because I like Xenogears I will...........anyho, on with the story!

*----------*

Sigurd slammed his pillow over his head as hard drums rocked the ship. Finally, he got up, left his room and knocked on the door next to his.

Sigurd: BART, TURN IT DOWN!

The door quickly opened and out stepped Bart in a tank top and underwear. She also failed to turn off the radio.

Bart: What!?!

Sigurd: Turn it down!

Bart: Spin around?

Sigurd: Turn it down!

Bart: Jump up and down?

Sigurd: Turn it DOWN!

Bart: Pull them down?

Sigurd: TURN IT DOWN!

Bart: Ohhhhhhhh.........! Why didn't you say so?

He turns the radio down and Sigurd sadders back to his room.

Bart: pervert..........

*--------------*

Bart:MOTHER FUCKING, CHEEP PIECE OF SHIT! I DARE YOU! DO IT AGAIN............WHY YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH.......!!!!!!!!!!

In walks Billy, who just heard a bunch of yelling.

Billy: What's wrong Bart?

Bart: I'm playing Digimon Card Battle and the stupid opponent keeps using a move or card which deletes all my 'O' button power!

Billy: .........Why don't you just use the Triangle or 'X' attack?

Bart: (sigh) Because you get more experiance if you use strait 'O' attacks. (Checks the screen) SON OF A BITCH!

Billy: (Shreek!) Bart! Please watch your mouth! My virgin ears!

Bart: Sorry Billy. I'll try..............You MOTHER FUCKING, CUNT-LICKING, SHIT EATING, SON OF A WHORE BITCH, ASSHOLE! FUCKER!!!! (THUMP!)

Bart looks behind her to see Billy fainted an the ground.

Bart: Billy?

*-------------*

Everyone: Happy birthday to you....Happy birthday to you.....Happy birthday dear Barty.....happy birthday to you......

Everyone claps while Sigurd trys to stop Bart from making a Madonna bra with the party cups. He finally manages to convice Bart to wear it on her head.

Sigurd: Alright Bart, blow out your candles.

She does so and fails to blow out two.

Margie: That means you have two boyfri.......mmppppph!!

Sigurd had luckly claped his hands over her mouth.

Fei: Hey, everyone..............where's Rico?

Then on cue, the cake explodes and out pops Rico in nothing but a big red bow around you-know-what, which causes EVERYONE to run out of the room, screaming. Anyone who couldn't get out of the room fast enough, through themselves out the windows. Leaving Sigurd in a state of shock and Billy passed out on the floor.

Rico: What are you looking at?

*-------------*

Fei: Hey Bart, you do know it's close to Christmas, don't you?

Bart: Yep, so........WHATDIDYAGETME!?!

Fei: (sweatdrop) I..I can't tell you till Christmas, you know that!

Bart: Oh..Okay! So, what did ya want?

Fei: I was wondering what to give Billy.

Bart: I don't know either! I mean, what do you give to someone.....OH!

Fei: You have an idea?

Bart: Yep! HEY BILLY!

Here he comes.......

Billy: Yes, Bart?

Bart: Merry Christmas! (She lifts up her shirt, which makes Billy faint on the spot.)

Fei: I ment something **I** could give him.

Bart: Oh, sorry! (Tucks her shirt back in.)

*-------------*


End file.
